


Alone

by starspxrrow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, I’m in Pain, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker Epilogue, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, TRoS Spoilers, They deserve hope, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starspxrrow/pseuds/starspxrrow
Summary: “You’re not alone”“Neither are you”That should have been enough of a promise that he would never leave her, and yet here Rey was, alone, broken hearted and facing a future with half of her soul missing without him. The death of her soulmate was a pain unlike any other and the worst part? She could tell no oneBut surely there was hope to be found . . .
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 11
Kudos: 147





	Alone

“You did it! Rey, you really killed Palpatine! What about Kylo Ren, is he dead too?” The Jedi stares blankly as the voice evolves into the figure of Poe Dameron running towards her, eyes gleaming with joy now that the war was won, now that the First Order was no more, Now that Kylo- now that Ben was. . .

She didn’t answer for a while, closing her eyes to brace against the tears that were threatening to fall along with the pain in her heart, worried that if they knew the truth, they would cast her out. She couldn’t- wouldn’t- lose her only remaining family after just losing everything. Taking a deep breath and throwing a well practised smile at Poe, and now Finn who had followed shortly behind 

“Yeah” she nodded, hurting herself by forcing the look of relief and joy upon her face “he’s dead too. The First order is no more” she felt physically sick, but then again, she hadn’t really lied. Kylo Ren’s death was easy to be happy about. It was the death of Ben Solo that was tearing her apart under the mask of indifference she displayed 

Huh. she thought to herself, it seems they were both good at hiding from others, it was Just his mask was literal. The tragic irony was almost to make her laugh.

Rey’s face suddenly dropped again as she was pulled into a hug by the other two, burying her face into Finn’s shoulder and silently crying. She knew he could feel the gentle shudder of her entire body as she finally let tears spill down her cheeks, and if Poe could feel it, well. . .he probably wouldn’t notice or pick up on the sadness in her tears anyway. 

He probably thought she was crying out of happiness like everyone else around here. No one could possibly know her tears were for another, for one who should be here beside them. Who always should have been 

The pain in her heart was unbearable, and she could tell no one it was because she was grieving the man she loved, because no one could know she loved him. 

Her jaw clenched as she pulled back from the embrace of her friends, quickly wiping her eyes with her forearm and giving another forced smile  
“I’ll erm…see you guys later. I’ve just got some things I have to do first. You know” she shrugged “Force stuff’ 

Before either of them could say a word, before she could see the confused, wounded look on Finn’s face, she had turned on her heel and was weaving through the crowds of celebrating rebels, brushing past a couple embraced in a passionate, not caring who sees kiss. Rey’s fingertips rose to her own lips instinctively, the memory of Ben practically burned onto them, just moments, mere seconds, before she lost him 

Quickening her pace and practically running for the falcon, she closed her eyes and hid her face, relying the force to guide her through the crowds, brushing past and bumping into several people. But she didn’t care as she bolted up the ship’s ramp, heading straight to her room with its closed door which she could cry behind in peace. 

Leaning her back against the door, she felt her knees give way, shaking and buckling under the weight of all the emotion she had been holding in. She wanted to be happy that the war was over, that the galaxy was safe, and deep down, she really was  
But right now she just needed time to process the loss she couldn’t tell her friends of. How could she ever make them understand, if she told them she had fallen deeply in love with the man they held responsible for this whole war, if she told them of their connection in the force, of the importance of it, even if she tried to tell them that he had come back to the light, that even his fall was not his fault. . . They would never understand 

She knew that not even Finn, the man who should understand making that choice between sides, would be able to comprehend her feelings after everything he had seen 

Once again, just like always, she was truly alone 

Her hand reached for her bag, pulling out the black fabric she had thrown in there while escaping Exogol, and holding it close, burying her face into the shirt as her tears flowed freely now. It was all she had left of him, an old blood stained shirt with a hole in it, but it was everything that Ben Solo represented. A simple, loose fitting piece of clothing that was worn beneath the guise of Kylo Ren. Once all that was gone, THIS, was what remained 

This was all that remained 

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me” she whispered into it, her voice shaking and breaking as she spoke out loud, hoping that he was somehow listening “and yet I’ve never felt so alone” the words she had told to him on Ahch-To the day she first started to love him. 

“You’re not alone”. She heard his words in her memories only, but she longed to hear them still, hear him now. She needed him to take away the loneliness in her heart, to hold her and love her and tell her everything was okay. 

She stayed there for a moment, hunched over against the door, silently crying into Ben’s shirt and wishing away the pain, wishing she could be with him, when something suddenly shifted. Her blood felt warm as the force hummed around her with the strength of their bond. It was how she felt every single time they were connected, like a comforting warmth that enveloped her, it was a feeling she truly felt was lost with him. . .as though their bond could be broken by death, and yet this feeling suggests otherwise

Was it foolish to feel hopeful? Perhaps. . . But then she felt a pressure on her shoulder. Like a hand gently placed in comfort.

A gasp left her lips as she opened her eyes, pulling her tear stained face from the fabric of his shirt with widened eyes, looking around frantically to try and recover that feeling, to find the warmth another’s presence had brought. . .his presence 

“Ben. . “ she whispered, standing and looking frantically around her still empty room, desperate to find him again. And then she heard it 

“You’re not alone” his voice rang out as though he was truly there with her, and for the first time since their kiss, the corners of her lips turned up into a genuine smile. 

The force would find a way, and their bond could not be broken even by death, she was sure of it. And maybe she could find a way to reunite them, for good this time.  
She wiped her eyes and gave a half hearted chuckle, shaking her head before the words left her lips, knowing that he could hear them 

“And neither are you. . .”

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to be a single chapter, but if it goes well I do have ideas for a continuation so feedback would be appreciated :)


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